A good friend recently texted me: Why canāt I let things go? LOL
She was lamenting over a breakup that had happened years prior.
I could relate to how she felt. Over the years, Iāve often wondered if something was wrong with me for gripping onto failing relationships, whether intimate or platonic.Ā
Being ghosted used to leave me GUTTED.Ā
Being ignored felt like I was being PUNISHED.
Even if I knew the person wasnāt good for me.Ā
Even if I knew the relationship was costing me more than it was giving me.Ā
It was just so hard to LET GO.Ā
Thankfully, with age comes wisdom. I donāt grip as tightly as before. Iāve accepted that sometimes the universe needs to intervene on my behalf because I am piss-pour at letting go of relationships that no longer suit me. That means sometimes I donāt get the closure or satisfaction of understanding why the thing has ended. And I am learning to not only be okay with that but to be grateful for it.
I am grateful because for every door the universe closes, another one opens in its place, and there, standing before me, is usually another playful human smiling back at me; someone who is more aligned, who gets my jokes, who is attuned to my mood changes, who is a supporter, encourager and lover.Ā
Last night, I was lying in bed with my good-natured boyfriend. He was playing a pop the bubble game on his new phone, and I was snuggled up in his arm. He exited the game, and his stock screensaver popped up on the background of his phone, a chess board. I started to giggle at the thought of him picking that screensaver out (even though I knew he hadnāt). He started to giggle, too. āI need to play, baby. Every day.ā My snicker turned into a full-fledged laughter attack, tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. His too. We lay there like that in bliss for a few minutes before I kissed the corner of his mouth, wiped my tear-stained cheeks, and rolled over to slip into slumber.Ā
I could have saved myself a lot of torment over the years if Iād had the awareness that not everyone is for me. Not everyone I encounter will like me. Not everyone is my person. Some people are only meant to be in my life for a brief cameo, others for merely a season, and then there are my ride-or-dies who will continue to nourish me the entire series.
And itās all exactly how it should be.Ā
If youāre having a hard time letting go of a once meaningful relationship - whether it be a friend, family member, lover, or partner, give yourself time to grieve, get closure if you can, and then thank the universe for clearing space for more aligned beings to come through, those who take pleasure in dazzling and delighting you. Because somewhere out there, maybe in a far corner of a windy Moroccan desert, thereās a wide-grinned human eager to play and bring out the lightness of your being.
Until next timeā¦thanks for being here (and being you)!